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  1. #1
    shady03's Avatar
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    Saban In More Trouble With Oversigning.....

    TUSCALOOSA, AL -- The MZone has learned that newly hired Alabama offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeir is being asked to sit out the 2012 season and join the Crimson Tide staff next year because Nick Saban has signed too many football coaches. Nussmeir, who had been the offensive coordinator at Washington, found out only after he and his family arrived in Tuscaloosa on Monday afternoon.

    "Coach Saban said he wished he would’ve been able to tell me before I quit my old job, sold my house, moved all the way across the country with my family and had six other coaching offers I turned down instead of telling me now," said Nussmeir as he stood next to his crying wife and kids on the front lawn of the new Tuscaloosa house that they can no longer afford. "He (Saban) said the only reason he can’t have me join his staff for this season is because he can’t have too many offensive coordinators. He can only have one. And he hired three. But he said he was going to bring me in for the 2013 season. And I know it's true because he said he would pinky swear that he would keep his word about that – which has to really, really mean something. I mean, it's not like he offered to just sign some random piece of paper."

    So what happened to Nussmeir's new job between the time he agreed to it on Friday and the time the offer was pulled on Monday? According to MZone sources, after Nussmeir accepted Saban's offer, the Tide head coach then made an offer to Oklahoma State offensive coordinator Todd Monken on Saturday and Stanford OC Pep Hamilton on Sunday. When both said yes, it left Nussmeir as the odd man out since Washington's offense wasn't as highly ranked as Oklahoma State's or Stanford's. No word yet on whether Monken or Hamilton will be next to get ass-fucked by Saban on this one.

    When the MZone asked Nussmeir what he was going to do this fall since all the prime OC jobs are already filled at this point, Nussmeir said he was going to stay in Alabama. "Coach Saban said he'd help me get a job at the Piggly Wiggly during the time I'm not on his staff. What an awesome, caring man, huh?"

    While, Nussmeir seemed understanding about having his job yanked away at the 11th hour, other assistant coaches weren't so forgiving of Saban.

    "It's deplorable," said new Florida OC Brent Pease. "A person agrees to something, doesn't look elsewhere because he thinks he's set, then is told at the last minute, 'Sorry, you're on your own'? And that's supposed to be okay? I can't believe there's not a national outcry about this. But, as usual, the ESPN's and Gary Danielson's of the world aren't saying shit. They only care about the players. Typical."

    Last summer, the SEC instituted limits on the number of assistant coaches a team can have. But Saban, notorious for having extra coaches to his staff at Alabama, was unfazed at the time. "It's not going to be that much of a management issue for us to be able to continue to create the same number of opportunities for young coaches and just try to manage it a little better."

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  2. #2
    JN Gerhart's Avatar
    JN Gerhart is online now Magistrate Achievements:
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    This is hilarious & profound.

    & I'm fairly certain a farce.

    Rest in Peace, theu75.

  3. #3
    nyctfl's Avatar
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    I didn't know The Onion was doing sports stories. Solid work.

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